“I hate relationships…” yours truly [single by choice].

The world today is full of lies & deceit & as time goes by, it becomes harder to get someone you can trust with your heart, soul & mind… love has become a misused term since the first thing that comes to mind when you think of love is sex. And that’s why this article in particular addresses men & women in equal measure. Single-hood quotes of bitterness are strewn all over the internet & yet we find ourselves dancing to the bitter tune when we have grudges with our spouses… or when we have grudges with the opposite sex in general…

So, if you’re single & then, it’s time for some soul searching with these hard questions;

1)Are you part of the solution or the problem?

How do you interact with strangers of the opposite sex at the work place, in events or in places of worship? Do you have boundaries or do you just find yourself flirting even before you’ve become acquainted with the person at hand. How do you chat with strangers on social networking sites? Are you sexually provocative in the way you dress, talk & present yourself in public? Because sex requires as much discretion as your nakedness… maybe it’s about time to start treating people around you as family… men as brothers & women as sisters. If you treat everyone as your lover, then you’re likely to appear easy, promiscuous & untrustworthy. Make sure you read this[Ugly Betty-The perfect woman in disguise! ] after you’re done with this article…

2)Do people perceive you in a way that you do not intend them to?

The people around you are partly attributed to the image you portray. As they say, birds of a feather flock together… promiscuous folk meeting in clubs;but it isn’t always that way. Sometimes it’s about opposite poles attracting; just like con artists love naive people that are ready for any get-rich-quick schemes that come by. So if you’re a lady & you’re always wondering why the wrong kind of men approach you, then you really need to check on your image… on the ground & online.

3)Who wrecked your character?

Good friends that stick to you through the tough times are hard to come by these days & it’s because we’ve compromised on character. We’ve let people with questionable characters infect us with bitterness & rage because they took advantage of our kindness, trust & vulnerability to a point where you find yourself in a state of confusion… because someone misled you & you lost yourself. Your male friend told you that women are gold diggers, or your female friends told you that men are dogs by nature… & you find yourself hurting & chasing away the good guys when you treat them as such.The former compassionate, kind-hearted,  loving & caring person has been replaced by this present ‘you’ that’s so anti-social & lonely; the person that wishes to go back to the former self… when life was happy & meaningful.

4)What/Whom do you expose yourself to?

This world is full of dangerous people & places that you shouldn’t be found. There is that limit you should instill in your life as pertains to how far you should go when it comes to mingling with people, or pleasing people, or even reaching out for that matter.  And I’m speaking from experience. I once had a friend whom I cared about… yet he just liked doing things to hurt me. It was like he was pure evil & he loved it. I’ve got another guy whom up to this day has blatantly refused to pay my debt for about half a year… & I always end up cursing the day I met such people, because I shouldn’t have met them in they first place.

5)Are you real or are you a stereotype?

Pretence must be the hardest thing to stick to. Especially when you embrace it as a way of life. Stop living a lie with the fear of losing friends & not impressing people… it’s emotionally taxing & depressing because your life is not real, your friends aren’t real… & the list goes on & on!

And last but not least!

6)Do you have foundational principles to stick to?

What are your foundational principles for being single? Is it because you’re angry? Or depressed? Or enraged? Or bitter? Because those aren’t principles… those are excuses. Give your life a meaning by doing things for a real reason… & stop being melodramatic all the time. It will only pile up your misery… being single isn’t bad, but you’ve got to have good reasons for being there.

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