I’ve personally been raised up in a generation of assumptions. Sex education was something I had to discover for myself through American Pie, my peers & unfortunately, pornography. Before High School, I was a boy.
The moment I joined high school, I found myself in a confusing predicament. Why? Because I was presumed to be a man. And there I was, a naïve, unprepared kid, burdened with expectations of how a man ought to be. The media & society made matters worse by making me feel less of a man because I didn’t drive, have a girlfriend(& sex), have a house, a job, lots of money & so on & so forth.
All sex & relationship advice that my parents have been giving me revolves around these three points; “Avoid sex. Avoid girls. Avoid pregnancies. Period!” And now here I am, in campus & yes, I’m still searching for ‘the one’. And it gets more frustrating & hopeless by the day. & Why’s that?
1)The Power Puff Girls want Superman, & nothing less.
Oh yes! More & more ladies are getting successful as more & more guys get miserable by the day. Then when these ladies get to the top, they gain PowerPuff status ( powerpuff wannabees in their early 20’s also fall in this category.)
Meaning that they gain a tendency to demean men who aren’t doing as well as they are. They call it girl power & their motto is, “What a man can do, a woman can do better.” & with this principle in mind, they’ve perfected the art of making a man feel like a kid, thus robbing him of his most precious possession; his pride. Many powerpuffs today want a superman in shining armour & nothing less.
Anything less than superman is inexistent… or as they say; “The good parking spots are taken, while the rest are handicapped.” Which man in his right senses would walk away with his pride intact after being told that, unless he’s a toyboy…
2)Somebody say ‘Gender Equality’!
Why mix business with personal matters? Like a relationship, or a family for that matter? Because I believe that gender equality in its entirity was only mean’t for business. (Yes, I know that someone’s already angry at this point). And if it should be a necessity in the household, it should be the last resort if boundaries are repeatedly crossed.
Women also look for their daddy in their men.
Which basically means that husband & wife can never be radically equal. Or as I should rephrase; King & Queen can’t be equal. Indeed, there are Kings that take advantage of their queens’ vulnerability, but radical gender equality isn’t the solution. One has to assume the status of a king whereas the other assumes status of a queen.
But what if as a man, you find yourself being made the queen of the house? & the wife acts like she’s the man, assuming the status of a king? Hmmh? Who’m will the kids look up to?
Surely, it won’t be a man who’s pride is robbed. Because these are the same absentee fathers that spend their precious time drinking & running away from their responsibilities…
3)Pressumptions & Generalizations.
As I reiterated earlier, many men are victims of generalization. Men are men; at least that’s what society thinks. Gone are the days when there were young men, elders et cetera. Such that a young lady will be inconsiderable enough to expect a 20 something year old guy to be as financially endowed as a 30 something year old man.
Another very damaging generalization is that ‘men are opportunistic beings that are just after sex’; & feminists are the best bunch at promoting this concept among their fellow sisters. Yet what many ladies don’t realize is that at times we do lose appetite for sex & are only after companionship; plain & simple.
In essence, men are laden with a truckload of expectations. And these expectations can’t be achieved when our pride is trumpled on the ground. It’s this pride that keeps our heads high, shoulders upright & chests forward in tough times. A tough economy, a bleak future & a myriad of disappointments have already created more than enough scars in our pride & esteem.
Demeaning men only makes matters worse.
Let the poor guy have some breathing space; let the man have his pride.
Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…