Showers of Trouble|

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There comes a time in our lives when we feel like the world is against us. Like there’s some curse roaming around & the heavens are against us. I’ve been experiencing this lately & It’s been the reason why I’ve gone silent on my blog. It’s been a series of broken promises, backstabs & failures so frequent, that sometimes I wonder if there’s some powerful, evil force lurking somewhere.

A force that’s been ensuring that the graph of failure, misery & frustrations in my life maintains an upward trend.

1) #TEAMSUICIDE.

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I’ve never ever in my entire life entertained this thought in my mind. I’ve been a fighter & through the many losses I’ve witnessed, I’ve seen some wins. However, this year things have been a little different. It’s like waking up every morning with a dagger of failures & disappointments lurking somewhere to stab you.

It’s like being killed everyday & yet you’re still alive. And somehow one becomes accustomed to death. Isn’t that what hell is?

But anyway, since I’ve been raised a christian, sometimes I wonder, why wouldn’t God have created a portal to the afterlife? Which we could access once in a while when the burdens of life become more unbearable than birth pains?

Then I would literary go & ask God, why all this trouble & pain? Is there any purpose to this? Or am I just another insignificant one in seven billion that you’ve forgotten about so fast?

Who’s significant? Is it only the rich & famous that seem to get what they want so easily while we strive & struggle for job after job after job to no avail?

2) An Eye for an Eye…

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Gone are the days when one would get a good deal fair & square. The days when someone would give you a deal freely without any mischievous terms & conditions.

Someone always wants something mischievous in return.

My recent cancelled deal was from someone who expected me to ‘kneel down & worship him’ in his own words.

To which I blatantly refused because I know the thin line between mutual respect & foolish adoration. I mean, what makes a creature a god over another?

Yes, he got stark raving mad & cancelled all my deals in the process. And I was glad to have let them go. Even through the trials & tribulations I face (especially financial), if I was given the chance to say no, I would do that over & over again.

All in all, I wonder, where did the good people go? Because even some so called christians are turning out to be the most ravenous & self-righteous wolves I’ve ever met.

I also wonder what the definition of friendship is because they’ve also joined the bandwagon. I help lots of guys gratis without mischeivous conditions. Problem is, the world is punishing me for being different…

3)My Prayer…

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First & foremost, I sincerely do hope that God has some internet connectivity in heaven & reads my blog. Because I need answers & solutions to so many questions in my life urgently. I need to know why…

Second of all, I need strength. A lifetime supply of strength that will keep me pushing. Because my mind keeps on asking me, why not just quit college, close your blog, your social network accounts & start a new life all together? Far, far away…

Finally, I need wisdom. To know whether these troubles are obstacles to my destiny, or whether they’re just a wake up call to radically shift my life & move on. Away from my friends, my life, my family… & possibly my country.

Please keep me in your thoughts & in your prayers… God help us all.

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Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Kiruai Dennis
Twitter: @kiruaidennis

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One thought on “Showers of Trouble|

  1. This is good stuff,i have been going through basically the same thing that you have,and reading this has taught me something, its not an easy road but its worth it!! Good stuff,keep it up!

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