Why are men so irresponsible these days?

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A lady this weekend asked me,
Why are men so irresponsible these days?
This was my reply to her…

The biggest challenge for men today is the feeling of inadequacy.

The inadequacy to provide enough. The inadequacy to match up to a woman and have a stable relationship. And the inadequacy of guidance on how a man should behave in society. This certainly breeds frustration and desperation because despite man’s best efforts to overcome his inadequacies, he keeps failing thus resulting in a bruised ego.

And men with bruised egos tend to retreat to their safe haven to preserve the little ego they have left. And the safe haven of a man is of course being a mere boy that just wants peace of mind by enjoying the simple pleasures of life. Because certainly the last thing that a man wants is to be constantly bombarded with reminders of his inadequacies.

Like when society constantly pressurizes the man to ‘up his game’ and reach the standards of the empowered modern woman. And as we all know, the modern woman has sophisticated and egotistic preferences regarding men standards. Plus she is macho and unforgiving thanks to the advancement of radical and intolerant feminism.

So it’s not that men don’t want to be responsible. It’s just that society constantly reminds them of their inadequacies to the point where they doubt the little strength they have left in them. Ultimately, we cannot pride ourselves when the women that we are supposed to provide for are more responsible than us.

It just can’t work…

 

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The Genesis of an Emerging Player|

The Genesis of an Emerging Player|

 

One thing I especially admire about my dad is that he’s been faithful to my mum throughout the years of pain & struggle.

On the other hand, one thing that I’m not admiring about myself lately is that I’m turning out to be the exact opposite.

As it turns out, being a player is becoming more & more of a viable option for me.

Though I’m not the kind that rubs it in the face of my potential fiancées. I do not believe in offense, & I’m surely not that heartless bastard that’s a total jerk when it comes to emotional matters.

1)I learn’t from the best.

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Sometimes I wonder what women really want. Not all. However, many criticize men for being unfaithful & in fact, they go to the extent of generalizing men by concluding that ‘all’ men are dogs.

And yet, behind the scenes, these same women see different guys at the same time. It beats logic that such ladies are eager to remove the spec in men’s eye without considering that log of make up in their own eyes.

I’ve even heard of these Y-generation ladies (especially in their 20 & possibly 30s) cheating on ten guys at the same time.

And it’s not that these guys are too foolish to notice.

On the contrary, these ladies have developed the art of mixing a dangerous concotion of concrete,viable excuses with outright lies.

And the poor fellas unfortunately fall for it over & over again… but that’s not all.

2)Act Like a man, think like a woman… only when necessary.

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Okay, first of all, I’m not telling guys to go gay. On the contrary, I’m reversing the law of Steve Harvey.

We live in a society where the gender playing ground has been levelled unlike any other time in history.

I once told some of my buddies that the y-generation ladies are more or less men in beautiful bodies. To which they laughed.

That was a year ago…

Now they tell a different story.

One great lesson I learn’t about women who cheat is that their greatest weapon of choice is gender underestimation. When a guy tells a woman that she can’t do one, two, three things simply because she’s a woman; that’s outright underestimation & an indirect invitation to a challenge.

In fact, experience has taught me that underestimation is the best, most effective camouflage for a cheating lady. Because if you catch her in the act. This ‘camouflage’ will be used against you as a man.

She will turn the guilt arrow against you & talk of how you don’t have time for her, don’t provide for her as guy ‘x’ does, satisfy her in bedroom matters & so forth…

That’s is just the tip of the iceberg as to how cheating women think… yeah ladies, I’ve been taking notes.

The rest is your homework.

Oh! And before I forget.

One more key lesson I learn’t as an emerging player…

From the best of course…

3)Let’s be friends.

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Many men are offended by articles that describe how a lady decides to make you her friend, or her side-kick for that matter simply because you can’t amount to her.

And quite frankly, I find it quite cruel & humiliating to be that ‘Operation Standby’ till you ‘Become financially stable’ … or ‘Get a life’ for that matter.

Adding insult to injury is that they laugh about it behind the scenes.

Yeah… it DEFINITELY hurts.

But don’t you think that it’s fair justice if the other party gets a taste of its own medicine so that it realizes how ‘not-so-funny’ the concept is?

I’m sure you’re wondering what I mean by that. Right?

So here’s the deal. Everyone knows that break-ups are are unpleasant experiences.

So what I simply do is turn those ‘I feel trapped’ relationships into ‘let’s just be friends’ acquintances.

Problem is, it would take an entire lecture on psychology to explain this.

But as I reiterated earlier. Being a player is not the ultimate option for me. I’m an emerging player.

That is;

4)I’m at Crossroads
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The direction I take in future will depend on the current y-generation of ladies that look like divas playing the role of future hopeless mothers.

The kind give good men less & less hope of ever becoming responsible fathers.

I know what it means to be a good man because I was once a good man…

Until I realized how naive I looked.

And just for the the record. I like how urbandictionary.com defines ‘naive’;

“Generally speaking , to be naive means you
do not think enough…”

Come to think of it, being an emerging player makes me think much more than ‘enough’…

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Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Kiruai Dennis
Twitter: @kiruaidennis

Showers of Trouble|

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There comes a time in our lives when we feel like the world is against us. Like there’s some curse roaming around & the heavens are against us. I’ve been experiencing this lately & It’s been the reason why I’ve gone silent on my blog. It’s been a series of broken promises, backstabs & failures so frequent, that sometimes I wonder if there’s some powerful, evil force lurking somewhere.

A force that’s been ensuring that the graph of failure, misery & frustrations in my life maintains an upward trend.

1) #TEAMSUICIDE.

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I’ve never ever in my entire life entertained this thought in my mind. I’ve been a fighter & through the many losses I’ve witnessed, I’ve seen some wins. However, this year things have been a little different. It’s like waking up every morning with a dagger of failures & disappointments lurking somewhere to stab you.

It’s like being killed everyday & yet you’re still alive. And somehow one becomes accustomed to death. Isn’t that what hell is?

But anyway, since I’ve been raised a christian, sometimes I wonder, why wouldn’t God have created a portal to the afterlife? Which we could access once in a while when the burdens of life become more unbearable than birth pains?

Then I would literary go & ask God, why all this trouble & pain? Is there any purpose to this? Or am I just another insignificant one in seven billion that you’ve forgotten about so fast?

Who’s significant? Is it only the rich & famous that seem to get what they want so easily while we strive & struggle for job after job after job to no avail?

2) An Eye for an Eye…

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Gone are the days when one would get a good deal fair & square. The days when someone would give you a deal freely without any mischievous terms & conditions.

Someone always wants something mischievous in return.

My recent cancelled deal was from someone who expected me to ‘kneel down & worship him’ in his own words.

To which I blatantly refused because I know the thin line between mutual respect & foolish adoration. I mean, what makes a creature a god over another?

Yes, he got stark raving mad & cancelled all my deals in the process. And I was glad to have let them go. Even through the trials & tribulations I face (especially financial), if I was given the chance to say no, I would do that over & over again.

All in all, I wonder, where did the good people go? Because even some so called christians are turning out to be the most ravenous & self-righteous wolves I’ve ever met.

I also wonder what the definition of friendship is because they’ve also joined the bandwagon. I help lots of guys gratis without mischeivous conditions. Problem is, the world is punishing me for being different…

3)My Prayer…

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First & foremost, I sincerely do hope that God has some internet connectivity in heaven & reads my blog. Because I need answers & solutions to so many questions in my life urgently. I need to know why…

Second of all, I need strength. A lifetime supply of strength that will keep me pushing. Because my mind keeps on asking me, why not just quit college, close your blog, your social network accounts & start a new life all together? Far, far away…

Finally, I need wisdom. To know whether these troubles are obstacles to my destiny, or whether they’re just a wake up call to radically shift my life & move on. Away from my friends, my life, my family… & possibly my country.

Please keep me in your thoughts & in your prayers… God help us all.

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Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Kiruai Dennis
Twitter: @kiruaidennis

An Introvert’s Perspective of Teamwork|

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Having been raised as the only son in the family with two sisters, I practically had to learn to deal with issues on my own.

See, there was this imbalanced sibling rivalry that was manifested in the way I dealt with confrontations within the family. If either of my sisters had an arguement, they had each other to console whereas if I had an argument, I would have to deal with the repercussions on my own.

Which basically means that I’ve practically been an introvert throughout my life. Yet, I’ve never really taken time to think about how this had affected my attitude towards teamwork. But first,

1)Where did I get this ‘Introvert‘ label from?

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About 2 weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon, as I took a stroll on the campus streets, I met Nandwa, a fellow undergraduate in the School of Economics.
She informed me of a teambuilding session that our school year was holding at the field.

Though unprepared, I felt the urge to witness the action. And that’s when I met another fellow undergraduate named Sheila.

We had never talked for the last three years except for a few pleasantries here & there. However, she surprised me with her perception of me. She claimed that I was that ‘Army of One‘ kinda guy that wasn’t quite social with fellow undergraduates.

And after giving her the sibling rivalry story I had given you earlier, she labelled me an introvert. But I still had a case to argue…

2)The Thin line between honesty & too much honesty.

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Sheila was against the idea that being an introvert had its positive side. A point that I strongly challenged.

I informed her of a very weird situation that took place in high school. My parents always insisted that I be very honest with them.

At first, I was skeptical about sharing a certain issue but later on, I took courage & asked them for a brief session to discuss a ‘personal matter’.

The first sentence that came out of my mouth sent shock waves down their spines, leaving them dumbfounded. It was a confession that involved me being a porn addict for the last couple of years under their very noses.

The fact that I had put it so blatantly made me look like that peculiar son that wasn’t afraid of his parents anymore, considering the ‘freaky’ information he had shared.

Eventually, my parents played the ‘we weren’t prepared for this’ & ‘we shall consult & get back to you’ cards.

This happened 6yrs ago.

And that was the last time porn was ever a topic of discussion. Since then, they’ve never shown any urge to be honest with me again because they must have realized that voluntary, uncoerced honesty would do.

3)The Snob.

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Sheila was also dumbfounded by my revelation, though she tried as much as possible to hide it.

Anyhow, she argued that being an introvert must have largely contributed to my snobbish behaviour. I wasn’t really surprised by this accusation since it had been constantly used against me several times in the past.

She claimed that I had to learn to be more social with fellow students by striking a balance between being an introvert & an extrovert. However, being in either of the two extreems had its repercussions.

And I had to start this task by joining the boys in playing football, to which I gladly obliged.

Though on Monday, I had pain all over my body after being severely injured by a teammate.

And as we all know, one can’t share body pain as a team. Which mean’t that nature necessitated me to be an introvert once again…

OUCH!

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Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Kiruai Dennis
Twitter: @kiruaidennis

 

Did you wake up feeling Alone and in Despair?… you’re not alone. Please read on…|

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When I opened my eyes this morning, I felt this invicible heaviness on my body. It’s a feeling that goes beyond words.

In fact, It’s a weird culmination so to speak… of despair, laziness, depression, loneliness… you name it.

Now all that concotion in one heavy dosage.

Fact is, its become common… not just in my life, but also in other people’s lives as well.

I see it in people’s eyes… everyday… every week… every year… but they can’t admit it because they’re afraid of making a mockery of themselves.

But as for me, I’ll have to speak out today because the more I conceal it, the more it hurts.

I’ll basically address three aspects of life without which, I feel incomplete… or basically make me feel like an absolute failure with each passing day…

1)Financial Stability.

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Doesn’t everyone wish for this? Heck I don’t even know why I’m asking this question because personally speaking, I crave for it.

Because I’m TIERD of living a life that’s nothing but a back & forth game of the good & bad life.

I’m tired of envying people who have a taste of the good life 24/7 while I have to wait for special occasions to have a piece of the cake.

And I must admit… IT SUCKS BIG TIME! To be the spectator… to be on the sidelines.

To have to work your *ss off for meager unstable income while someone spends money like he/she photocopies it across the streets.

What makes some people have money so easily while others sweat blood to have a penny?

Are these struggles here to stay? Is this destiny? Speaking of destiny…

2)A Sense of Fulfilment.

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This is the sense that makes you feel that what you do in life makes an impact. That you’re not just passing time & waiting for judgement day.

That treasured feeling that “I’m not doing what I do in vain because there’s a reward in the end…”

And as I reiterated earlier, lack of financial stability leaves one with few options. For instance, I hate doing Economics… but…

I’ve struggled to get this rare chance to study for a degree that’s partly sponsored for by the government.

I always feel like I’m passing time by… but what options do I have?

I once told my parents that I needed to change the course but they would hear none of that because of the numerous financial challenges they currently face & that I’m supposed to “understand & cope with the situation as the first born”.

These are the same parents that were quick to disapprove my books even without reading them because of the financial constraints they face…

Parents that only believe in formal education & see one’s passions as a meaningless past time.

This indeed crushed my spirit…

I’ve got passion for entrepreneurship! Not being employed in a bank & working long hours for a meager salary.

But what’s the use of passion if you’ve got no resources to implement them? I mean, I’ve got two books under my belt but Kenyan publishers aren’t willing to sponsor & promote young, upcoming writers.

I wanna be my own boss. I wanna study for something different that makes me feel involved, as opposed to what I currently do which basically means copy pasting what the lecturer dictates without a mind of my own.

I need to feel fulfilled with each passing day.

3)Dreams & Ambitions coming to pass.

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Mentorship…

Used to be there. And so we (the Y generation) have to figure out life on our own. But of late, one gets the feeling that no one cares.

I miss the days when people would actually talk of dreams & ambitions & bring them to pass. But lately, that’s becoming another hopeless mirage. Disappointments after disappointments come, left, right & center.

Resolution after resolution is broken.

Then despair sets in, becoming an everyday reality…

I mean… what does one do?

Hope for a miracle in a world infested with materialistic churches? Share his/her disappointments with a world that’s addicted to constant gossip, bickering & mockery?

As for me, I’ve learn’t to cope by first of all, comforting myself in silence & solitude.
And second of all, hiding my pain.

Because I’ve come to the realization that many will read this & assume that the writer “will be fine…” just like the parable of the good samaritan.

Or maybe, just maybe… a “one in a billion” good samaritan will help me change this story, & I won’t have to repeat it again.

As the saying goes,

“Everyone goes through pain, It’s just that some people are better at hiding it than others…”
Have a blessed week ahead…

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Special Dedication to Grandma Grace Kiruai, who passed on at age 92 on the 19th of September 2012…

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

 

Let The Man Have His Pride.|

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I’ve personally been raised up in a generation of assumptions. Sex education was something I had to discover for myself through American Pie, my peers & unfortunately, pornography. Before High School, I was a boy.

The moment I joined high school, I found myself in a confusing predicament. Why? Because I was presumed to be a man. And there I was, a naïve, unprepared kid, burdened with expectations of how a man ought to be. The media & society made matters worse by making me feel less of a man because I didn’t drive, have a girlfriend(& sex), have a house, a job, lots of money & so on & so forth.

All sex & relationship advice that my parents have been giving me revolves around these three points; “Avoid sex. Avoid girls. Avoid pregnancies. Period!” And now here I am, in campus & yes, I’m still searching for ‘the one’. And it gets more frustrating & hopeless by the day. & Why’s that?

1)The Power Puff Girls want Superman, & nothing less.

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Oh yes! More & more ladies are getting successful as more & more guys get miserable by the day. Then when these ladies get to the top, they gain PowerPuff status ( powerpuff wannabees in their early 20’s also fall in this category.)

Meaning that they gain a tendency to demean men who aren’t doing as well as they are. They call it girl power & their motto is, “What a man can do, a woman can do better.” & with this principle in mind, they’ve perfected the art of making a man feel like a kid, thus robbing him of his most precious possession; his pride.  Many powerpuffs today want a superman in shining armour & nothing less.

Anything less than superman is inexistent… or as they say; “The good parking spots are taken, while the rest are handicapped.” Which man in his right senses would walk away with his pride intact after being told that, unless he’s a toyboy…

2)Somebody say ‘Gender Equality’!

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Why mix business with personal matters? Like a relationship, or a family for that matter? Because I believe that gender equality in its entirity was only mean’t for business. (Yes, I know that someone’s already angry at this point). And if it should be a necessity in the household, it should be the last resort if boundaries are repeatedly crossed.

Women also look for their daddy in their men.
Which basically means that husband & wife can never be radically equal. Or as I should rephrase; King & Queen can’t be equal. Indeed, there are Kings that take advantage of their queens’ vulnerability, but radical gender equality isn’t the solution. One has to assume the status of a king whereas the other assumes status of a queen.

But what if as a man, you find yourself being made the queen of the house? & the wife acts like she’s the man, assuming the status of a king? Hmmh? Who’m will the kids look up to?

Surely, it won’t be a man who’s pride is robbed. Because these are the same absentee fathers that spend their precious time drinking & running away from their responsibilities…

3)Pressumptions & Generalizations.

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As I reiterated earlier, many men are victims of generalization. Men are men; at least that’s what society thinks. Gone are the days when there were  young men, elders et cetera. Such that a young lady will be inconsiderable enough to expect a 20 something year old guy to be as financially endowed as a 30 something year old man.

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Another very damaging generalization is that ‘men are opportunistic beings that are just after sex’; & feminists are the best bunch at promoting this concept among their fellow sisters. Yet what many ladies don’t realize is that at times we do lose appetite for sex & are only after companionship; plain & simple.

In essence, men are laden with a truckload of expectations. And these expectations can’t be achieved when our pride is trumpled on the ground. It’s this pride that keeps our heads high, shoulders upright & chests forward in tough times. A tough economy, a bleak future & a myriad of disappointments have already created more than enough scars in our pride & esteem.
Demeaning men only makes matters worse.

Let the poor guy have some breathing space; let the man have his pride.

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Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

I am Blessed!

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Oh yes! If you’re reading this, it’s another brand new day my friend! It’s another gift that has been bestowed upon us by the Almighty God… a gift so precious, so priceless that all riches combined on this planet cannot purchase it! It’s another priviledged opportunity to yawn & rub my eyes as I look forward to a brand new day!
So what’s so exceptional about this day? Did I win a lottery? No folks! I woke up… FOR FREE!

Yes I made mistakes! Yes I did mess up a few times the previous day! But the creator of the universe out of His bountiful grace has never lost faith in me! He still believes in me because He knows me better than I know myself… & if you think that’s a lie, please tell me the number of hairs on your head? Hmmh?

I may be having a myriad of challenges that may have been extended from previous weeks, days, months or even years… but the mere fact that I can lift up my face & arms is proof enough that I’m so blessed because I never had to pay God a single cent to keep my body running!

Insignificance in the eyes of man isn’t Insignificance in the eyes of God! I may not know why God has faith to keep me alive, safe & healthy with each passing day. I may not know why He loves me inspite of my mistakes… but one thing’s for sure! I will always be optimistic even in the face of a myriad of pessimism!

While the world is busy worrying about the future, I’ll put my trust in the one who makes this world exist. The everlasting King of Kings & Lord of Lords that caters for souls that are departed… something that neither the world, nor it’s kingdoms, nor it’s richest, nor it’s most powerful can do!

So while I put my trust in the Creator who has no limits, I won’t put any limitations to my dreams & visions… people will call my dreams fantasy & circumstances may be discouraging, but I’ll reach out to my destiny by speaking, thinking & doing positive; infact, I’ll faith it till I make it.

Because God may not be in a hurry, but He’s always on time! So I’ll patiently live with positive perserverance because I know that my attitude is not in vain.

As for now, I’ll rejoice & celebrate!
Regretably, some people may take their lives for granted because they measure their significance based on the substance of things, or influence. If only they knew that their biggest blessing is right infront of their mirrors, then they would know why I say that I am Blessed…

You can interact with Kiruai#Dennis on Facebook[Kiruai Dennis] or on Twitter[@kiruaidennis]…