The Genesis of an Emerging Player|

The Genesis of an Emerging Player|

 

One thing I especially admire about my dad is that he’s been faithful to my mum throughout the years of pain & struggle.

On the other hand, one thing that I’m not admiring about myself lately is that I’m turning out to be the exact opposite.

As it turns out, being a player is becoming more & more of a viable option for me.

Though I’m not the kind that rubs it in the face of my potential fiancées. I do not believe in offense, & I’m surely not that heartless bastard that’s a total jerk when it comes to emotional matters.

1)I learn’t from the best.

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Sometimes I wonder what women really want. Not all. However, many criticize men for being unfaithful & in fact, they go to the extent of generalizing men by concluding that ‘all’ men are dogs.

And yet, behind the scenes, these same women see different guys at the same time. It beats logic that such ladies are eager to remove the spec in men’s eye without considering that log of make up in their own eyes.

I’ve even heard of these Y-generation ladies (especially in their 20 & possibly 30s) cheating on ten guys at the same time.

And it’s not that these guys are too foolish to notice.

On the contrary, these ladies have developed the art of mixing a dangerous concotion of concrete,viable excuses with outright lies.

And the poor fellas unfortunately fall for it over & over again… but that’s not all.

2)Act Like a man, think like a woman… only when necessary.

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Okay, first of all, I’m not telling guys to go gay. On the contrary, I’m reversing the law of Steve Harvey.

We live in a society where the gender playing ground has been levelled unlike any other time in history.

I once told some of my buddies that the y-generation ladies are more or less men in beautiful bodies. To which they laughed.

That was a year ago…

Now they tell a different story.

One great lesson I learn’t about women who cheat is that their greatest weapon of choice is gender underestimation. When a guy tells a woman that she can’t do one, two, three things simply because she’s a woman; that’s outright underestimation & an indirect invitation to a challenge.

In fact, experience has taught me that underestimation is the best, most effective camouflage for a cheating lady. Because if you catch her in the act. This ‘camouflage’ will be used against you as a man.

She will turn the guilt arrow against you & talk of how you don’t have time for her, don’t provide for her as guy ‘x’ does, satisfy her in bedroom matters & so forth…

That’s is just the tip of the iceberg as to how cheating women think… yeah ladies, I’ve been taking notes.

The rest is your homework.

Oh! And before I forget.

One more key lesson I learn’t as an emerging player…

From the best of course…

3)Let’s be friends.

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Many men are offended by articles that describe how a lady decides to make you her friend, or her side-kick for that matter simply because you can’t amount to her.

And quite frankly, I find it quite cruel & humiliating to be that ‘Operation Standby’ till you ‘Become financially stable’ … or ‘Get a life’ for that matter.

Adding insult to injury is that they laugh about it behind the scenes.

Yeah… it DEFINITELY hurts.

But don’t you think that it’s fair justice if the other party gets a taste of its own medicine so that it realizes how ‘not-so-funny’ the concept is?

I’m sure you’re wondering what I mean by that. Right?

So here’s the deal. Everyone knows that break-ups are are unpleasant experiences.

So what I simply do is turn those ‘I feel trapped’ relationships into ‘let’s just be friends’ acquintances.

Problem is, it would take an entire lecture on psychology to explain this.

But as I reiterated earlier. Being a player is not the ultimate option for me. I’m an emerging player.

That is;

4)I’m at Crossroads
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The direction I take in future will depend on the current y-generation of ladies that look like divas playing the role of future hopeless mothers.

The kind give good men less & less hope of ever becoming responsible fathers.

I know what it means to be a good man because I was once a good man…

Until I realized how naive I looked.

And just for the the record. I like how urbandictionary.com defines ‘naive’;

“Generally speaking , to be naive means you
do not think enough…”

Come to think of it, being an emerging player makes me think much more than ‘enough’…

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Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Kiruai Dennis
Twitter: @kiruaidennis

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An Introvert’s Perspective of Teamwork|

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Having been raised as the only son in the family with two sisters, I practically had to learn to deal with issues on my own.

See, there was this imbalanced sibling rivalry that was manifested in the way I dealt with confrontations within the family. If either of my sisters had an arguement, they had each other to console whereas if I had an argument, I would have to deal with the repercussions on my own.

Which basically means that I’ve practically been an introvert throughout my life. Yet, I’ve never really taken time to think about how this had affected my attitude towards teamwork. But first,

1)Where did I get this ‘Introvert‘ label from?

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About 2 weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon, as I took a stroll on the campus streets, I met Nandwa, a fellow undergraduate in the School of Economics.
She informed me of a teambuilding session that our school year was holding at the field.

Though unprepared, I felt the urge to witness the action. And that’s when I met another fellow undergraduate named Sheila.

We had never talked for the last three years except for a few pleasantries here & there. However, she surprised me with her perception of me. She claimed that I was that ‘Army of One‘ kinda guy that wasn’t quite social with fellow undergraduates.

And after giving her the sibling rivalry story I had given you earlier, she labelled me an introvert. But I still had a case to argue…

2)The Thin line between honesty & too much honesty.

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Sheila was against the idea that being an introvert had its positive side. A point that I strongly challenged.

I informed her of a very weird situation that took place in high school. My parents always insisted that I be very honest with them.

At first, I was skeptical about sharing a certain issue but later on, I took courage & asked them for a brief session to discuss a ‘personal matter’.

The first sentence that came out of my mouth sent shock waves down their spines, leaving them dumbfounded. It was a confession that involved me being a porn addict for the last couple of years under their very noses.

The fact that I had put it so blatantly made me look like that peculiar son that wasn’t afraid of his parents anymore, considering the ‘freaky’ information he had shared.

Eventually, my parents played the ‘we weren’t prepared for this’ & ‘we shall consult & get back to you’ cards.

This happened 6yrs ago.

And that was the last time porn was ever a topic of discussion. Since then, they’ve never shown any urge to be honest with me again because they must have realized that voluntary, uncoerced honesty would do.

3)The Snob.

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Sheila was also dumbfounded by my revelation, though she tried as much as possible to hide it.

Anyhow, she argued that being an introvert must have largely contributed to my snobbish behaviour. I wasn’t really surprised by this accusation since it had been constantly used against me several times in the past.

She claimed that I had to learn to be more social with fellow students by striking a balance between being an introvert & an extrovert. However, being in either of the two extreems had its repercussions.

And I had to start this task by joining the boys in playing football, to which I gladly obliged.

Though on Monday, I had pain all over my body after being severely injured by a teammate.

And as we all know, one can’t share body pain as a team. Which mean’t that nature necessitated me to be an introvert once again…

OUCH!

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Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Kiruai Dennis
Twitter: @kiruaidennis

 

Life|

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The most scary reality for me when I wake up each morning is to realize that I’ll give an account of how I spent each & every second on this planet. There’s no insurance, no playbacks… nothing. Once I’ve made a mistake, or wasted my precious energy on a meaningless past time, then that’s it!

I mean, doesn’t that make us feel lost at times? Wondering if we are actually fulfilling our destiny?

Or worse still, we wake up everyday & say; yeah yeah… more disappointments coming up as usual & there’s nothing I can do about it.
And this got me thinking…

1)Why does it seem like God isn’t doing His best?

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That’s a question I’d like to pop incase I’m actually given that opportunity to have that one-on-one conversation with the Almighty.

I mean, wouldn’t it be a good idea if money grew on trees? Or rained from the sky?
Wouldn’t it be a better world if poverty & disease was totally extinguished & everybody was happy?

Why can’t everyone have an easy life & just enjoy it. Do people actually have to suffer?

And what makes some people seem justified to have a luxurious life while some are accustomed to absolute misery?

Isn’t it unfair that someone’s life ends without notice? In accidents, tsunamis… et cetera. I mean, shouldn’t they be given a sort of eviction notice & a plan B?

And finally God, I have one major question for you… I wonder if you wouldn’t mind explaining to me the reason as to…

2)Why bad things happen to good people.

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The world today is so complicated that one wonders, what does it mean to be good? Because we see good people do bad things & bad people do good things.

And since we as humans have the weakness of judging the book by its cover, we tend to be deceived by outward appearance as the ‘good people’ rob us right under our noses… & at this point, I’ll use a personal example.

In my campus, I deal with lots of bureacracy. However, there are some campus officials that have learn’t the art of “Not saying no”.

They do this by telling you to “come tomorrow” & that “they’re busy”. Yes, they do greet you with big (professionally faked) smiles on their faces yet deep inside, they’re full of ill intent.

To discourage you, to demean you & to crush your spirit; knowing fully well that justice delayed is justice denied & that “Tomorrow never comes”.

And here’s the interesting bit; they make the good guys look bad. So one wonders, when will this ever stop? Until when will the bad guys always have the last laugh?

& last but not least…

3)What does the future hold?

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With bad news flooding our TV screens & uncertainty dominating the global economy at large, one gets the feeling that instability may become a common trend.

Infidelity, materialism & selfishness are at an all time high as morals & Godly beliefs are deemed insignificant & old-fashioned.

Mentorship, integrity, faithfulness & trustworthiness are terrestrial vocabularies from outer space for the Y generation with commitment & responsibility phobia clinging onto young men like leeches.

And once again, I get back to God…

I mean, something major has got to be done about the state of affairs of this planet.

In short, we need a heaven on earth. Good economies, transparent governments, happy people, healthy families, & a hopeful generation…

Now that’s life…

Need I say more?

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Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

 

Somebody say Eloquence…|

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In campus, I hold a high ranking position in the student fraternity. And with that comes lots of responsibility particularly in regards to the image I portray.

This doesn’t come as a surprise considering the fact that I’m occasionally given the task of hosting bigwigs & taking them on a tour around campus.

Indeed, I’ve met lots of people in the past year & made a positive impression on them.

However, as I deal with these men & women of influence & power, I sometimes get tempted to overlook certain key characters which though seemingly insignificant, make a huge impact in my life.

1)The Ordinary Student.

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Yesterday on Thursday the 22, our campus had the priviledge to host a Nairobi based rock band at the Student Annex. As the students enjoyed themselves & drinks passed around, I couldn’t help but notice the attraction I was gathering around me.

Yes, this was one of those moments when I just wanted to be me & have fun as some ordinary guy but I couldn’t “hide”. As the show ensued & the rockband continued with its performance, I was headed to the washrooms when all of a sudden, someone stopped me.

He said ‘hi’ & added that he looked up to me as a role model. *Tom was his name. He also insisted that though he didn’t want to sound gay, he had been a keen observer of my style of dressing for the last two years & was really impressed.

A second guy joined in & said more or less the same thing. Both of them were tipsy & in the end, *Tom warned me against drinking too much lest I lose the respect I had built for so long.

2)The PR.

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This week, I had a few meetings with the head of public relations in our campus. In one of our conversations, I told him of a particular predicament that was really bugging me.

See, my predecessor never introduced me to the relevant offices after handing over the office to me. Thus basically, most campus officials thought that he is still the one holding the seat almost a year down the line.

And so when I meet them they tell me,

“Oh yes, I like your hair that way, don’t do any crazy hairdo’s again…”

Because apparently, my predecessor used to have this long hair that he would occasionally plait & thus they think that “I have reformed”.

Of course, this ‘bad image’ scenario has really affected the functioning of the office since the officials have developed this sense of detest & skeptism against it.

At this, the PR manager Mr. *Paul laughed & insisted that I should always wear a tag that reads:

“I’m not my predecessor, My regards…”

3)The Administrators

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Last week, I had the priviledge to meet the Tanzanian president Jakaya Kikwete as he officiated the opening of the new School of hospitality in our campus. The Vice Chancellor & some lecturers were present.

As the president shook hands with me, I couldn’t help but notice that the handshake was firm & confident as we exchanged warm smiles & pleasantries.

This to me spoke volumes. It showed the fact that he wasn’t disappointed & that my image had done its work appropriately.

Which reminded me of an earlier situation which took place some hours prior to the event.

As arrangements were being done at the vicinity of the launch, a campus administrator came to me & said:

“Hello, I see you’ve not done that crazy hairdo again… keep it up!”

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Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

 

Remnants of the Big City|

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So last weekend, I met an old lady friend of mine at the Anniversary towers; *EK, an undergraduate student in Pharmacy at the University of Nairobi. We hadn’t met for a very long time since 2003 & we had a lot of catching up to do.

We talked about life events that ensued & how childhood friends had changed as time went by. However, the conversation took a turn when I offered to escort her to the bus stop at GPO.

As we took a stroll down the streets of Nairobi, we couldn’t help but notice how society is becoming more carefree & reckless by the day. What especially worried us the most was the escalation of moral decadence in our ‘Y-generation‘.

“A day is coming when people will loathe & detest sex so much, that they’ll never want to even think about it,” said *EK.

As unrealistic as that might have sounded, I sought to find out why *EK would arrive at this conclusion.

1)Deceipt & Betrayal

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“This city is really dangerous Kiruai, I’ve seen a lot at Kenyatta National Hospital.” She continued. Indeed, she works as an intern at the biggest refferal hospital in Kenya, where she meets many patients who have many sad & tragic stories to share.

“I’m telling you Dennis, I’ve seen grown-up men cry like helpless babies. I’ve seen despair that words can’t tell. It’s a very sad state of affairs especially for us, this generation.” As she spoke, I couldn’t help but notice the concern & worry in her eyes & voice.

She went ahead to explain to me how carefree this young generation is with sex, passing on STD’s & HIV without discretion.

Yes Dennis, the use of ARV’s by HIV patients has given them the opportunity to look healthy & numb the effects of the disease. But some, if not most, are taking advantage by spreading the disease to unsuspecting & naive sex partners.”

At this point, I couldn’t help but feel the pain & agony of such betrayal & the damage that has already been done.

2)Sex & Materialism

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“So, is there any hope for this generation?” I asked.

“I mean, even our ‘potential girlfriends in campus’ are sleeping around with men twice their age. Men who are supposed to mentor us.”

At this, *EK replied,

“I don’t know Dennis. I really don’t know… I’m even concerned about how we’ll be correcting our kids. I’m concerned about the trauma that kids will have to go through in future once they discover the dirty linen of their perverse parents.”

“Yes *EK, I see your point. I’m even concerned about whether I should bring my child into this perverse generation.”

“A self-centered generation that’s overdosed on sex & materialism.”

“Morals have been labelled as ancient & ‘old school’. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus comes real soon.”

“I mean, is there any hope of finding a good & faithful wife?”

At this point, I was really concerned & filled with hopelessness.

3)The Remnants of Morality

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“Yes Dennis, there is hope. But believe me, I wouldn’t date a guy from Nairobi…” said *EK

“Really? And why’s that?” I asked.

“Well, it’s because Nairobi lacks ‘originality & identity’. There are no moral boundaries. For instance, when it comes to most rugby players, they beat up & disrespect their women. They even have sex with multiple partners without discretion…” continued *EK.

I wasn’t really surprised by what *EK was saying since she was brought up in Mombasa (Coast region) & I was brought up in the mountanious up-country region called Kirinyaga.

“I can’t bring up my kids in Nairobi. They’ll see ‘too much’ at a young age. I need to bring them up in a town where decency & morality reign. But Nairobi, is full of drama & I’ve seen more than enough at KNH.” She concluded.

Indeed, I couldn’t help but concur with her. It wasn’t really about Nairobi. It was about the root cause. It was about the moral decadence that kids brought up here are currently witnessing & emulating.

I’ve personally witnessed a ten year old Nairobian browse porn on my phone. These kids emulate what society puts emphasis on. They see a lot… so much that time cannot erase.

As we waved goodbye at GPO bus stop, *EK left me with these words;

“Be very very very… careful Dennis. I don’t want to see the same fate befall you…”

Words that ring in my head up to this day.

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Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

 

The parable of the lying tailor and the compassionate customer.|

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Yesterday, I suffered a shocker. A huge shocker indeed. Because I learn’t the hard way why mixing business with friendship in these dangerous times has bitter consequences.

The story started four weeks ago. See, there was this tailor in town that I was used to bringing him my clothes to mend for close to one & a half years. A forty something year old man with grey hair & a business I was yet to fully comprehend. Or at least, I thought I had.

Then one day, which was a month ago, I decide to give him a chance to make me a suit. So I pay him half the amount for the material to use for the garment & trust that in one week, he’d finish the suit (mind you, I never even demanded for a receipt from him out of trust).

But woe unto me!

1)Personal matters aside, keep it strictly business.
So after week one, I come to the tailor & he tells me that he couldn’t finish the suit in time. And why’s that? Because apparently, he spent the money I had given him on his daughter’s medication (personal matter #1).

And since I had worked with this old lad for close to two years, I thought; well, for community’s & courtesy’s sake, it would be wise to ‘forgive’ the old lad & add him some more cash, which I gladly did out of trust & compassion (personal matter#2).

So another week passes & another week passes as the old lad gives me excuses about taking the suit to this tailor & that tailor to put this & that design & I was like okay…

2)Demand for your right! It’s first come, first served!
So two weeks ago, I pay the old lad a surprise visit & as it turns out, he was mending suits for another wedding that was happening far away (mutual respect compromised*).

My patience was running out & though I felt like  ranting & raving, I knew that I had to be courteous. So I asked him why my suit was still not ready yet & he continues with his excuses of his personal life, & how my suit was (still) being designed by so & so.

He even went further & asked me to be courteous enough to excuse him to make the current order of suits for a certain wedding because it was urgent (personal matter #3) .

That’s when I had mixed feelings. Though my instincts told me to trust this lad by virtue of his word, my mind told me that I was being taken for a ride…

& guess what?

3)My Mind was right! Businesses will likely use friendship to take advantage & compromise upon mutual respect after all.

And so the old lad promised me that this week, which is the fourth week, would be the ultimatum.

Monday passes, he promises Tuesday & Tuesday passes & so forth… which is basically what he had been doing for the past three weeks.

Thus, I declared that Wednesday was fed-up day & called for the intervention of someone I knew talked tough & kept things strictly business (personal matters aside). And that was none other than my mother (since I knew that my dad’s kindness & courtesy would be taken advantage of.)

And my oh my, here comes the shocker. After a thorough confrontation from my tough stanced mother, who wanted either the results or the money there & then, the old lad had no other choice but to confess.

That he hadn’t even began making the suit after all. That he wanted to start making it & finish the shoddy job on that same day. What utter nonsense! 

Of course, we could hear none of that & demanded for the money. It even turned out, based on the testimony of tailors in the locality that the old lad is a chronic liar after all.

So what else can I say. I trusted the old lad like a father but he repeatedly stabbed me in the back with fake promises. All my precious anticipation, energy & time was wasted for nothing. Without compensation!

That’s why I love quoting these wise words by Confucius;

Signs & symbols rule the world. Not words nor laws…

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

Let The Man Have His Pride.|

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I’ve personally been raised up in a generation of assumptions. Sex education was something I had to discover for myself through American Pie, my peers & unfortunately, pornography. Before High School, I was a boy.

The moment I joined high school, I found myself in a confusing predicament. Why? Because I was presumed to be a man. And there I was, a naïve, unprepared kid, burdened with expectations of how a man ought to be. The media & society made matters worse by making me feel less of a man because I didn’t drive, have a girlfriend(& sex), have a house, a job, lots of money & so on & so forth.

All sex & relationship advice that my parents have been giving me revolves around these three points; “Avoid sex. Avoid girls. Avoid pregnancies. Period!” And now here I am, in campus & yes, I’m still searching for ‘the one’. And it gets more frustrating & hopeless by the day. & Why’s that?

1)The Power Puff Girls want Superman, & nothing less.

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Oh yes! More & more ladies are getting successful as more & more guys get miserable by the day. Then when these ladies get to the top, they gain PowerPuff status ( powerpuff wannabees in their early 20’s also fall in this category.)

Meaning that they gain a tendency to demean men who aren’t doing as well as they are. They call it girl power & their motto is, “What a man can do, a woman can do better.” & with this principle in mind, they’ve perfected the art of making a man feel like a kid, thus robbing him of his most precious possession; his pride.  Many powerpuffs today want a superman in shining armour & nothing less.

Anything less than superman is inexistent… or as they say; “The good parking spots are taken, while the rest are handicapped.” Which man in his right senses would walk away with his pride intact after being told that, unless he’s a toyboy…

2)Somebody say ‘Gender Equality’!

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Why mix business with personal matters? Like a relationship, or a family for that matter? Because I believe that gender equality in its entirity was only mean’t for business. (Yes, I know that someone’s already angry at this point). And if it should be a necessity in the household, it should be the last resort if boundaries are repeatedly crossed.

Women also look for their daddy in their men.
Which basically means that husband & wife can never be radically equal. Or as I should rephrase; King & Queen can’t be equal. Indeed, there are Kings that take advantage of their queens’ vulnerability, but radical gender equality isn’t the solution. One has to assume the status of a king whereas the other assumes status of a queen.

But what if as a man, you find yourself being made the queen of the house? & the wife acts like she’s the man, assuming the status of a king? Hmmh? Who’m will the kids look up to?

Surely, it won’t be a man who’s pride is robbed. Because these are the same absentee fathers that spend their precious time drinking & running away from their responsibilities…

3)Pressumptions & Generalizations.

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As I reiterated earlier, many men are victims of generalization. Men are men; at least that’s what society thinks. Gone are the days when there were  young men, elders et cetera. Such that a young lady will be inconsiderable enough to expect a 20 something year old guy to be as financially endowed as a 30 something year old man.

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Another very damaging generalization is that ‘men are opportunistic beings that are just after sex’; & feminists are the best bunch at promoting this concept among their fellow sisters. Yet what many ladies don’t realize is that at times we do lose appetite for sex & are only after companionship; plain & simple.

In essence, men are laden with a truckload of expectations. And these expectations can’t be achieved when our pride is trumpled on the ground. It’s this pride that keeps our heads high, shoulders upright & chests forward in tough times. A tough economy, a bleak future & a myriad of disappointments have already created more than enough scars in our pride & esteem.
Demeaning men only makes matters worse.

Let the poor guy have some breathing space; let the man have his pride.

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Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…