Why are men so irresponsible these days?

A lady this weekend asked me,
Why are men so irresponsible these days?
This was my reply to her…

The biggest challenge for men today is the feeling of inadequacy.

The inadequacy to provide enough. The inadequacy to match up to a woman and have a stable relationship. And the inadequacy of guidance on how a man should behave in society. This certainly breeds frustration and desperation because despite man’s best efforts to overcome his inadequacies, he keeps failing thus resulting in a bruised ego.

And men with bruised egos tend to retreat to their safe haven to preserve the little ego they have left. And the safe haven of a man is of course being a mere boy that just wants peace of mind by enjoying the simple pleasures of life. Because certainly the last thing that a man wants is to be constantly bombarded with reminders of his inadequacies.

Like when society constantly pressurizes the man to ‘up his game’ and reach the standards of the empowered modern woman. And as we all know, the modern woman has sophisticated and egotistic preferences regarding men standards. Plus she is macho and unforgiving thanks to the advancement of radical and intolerant feminism.

So it’s not that men don’t want to be responsible. It’s just that society constantly reminds them of their inadequacies to the point where they doubt the little strength they have left in them. Ultimately, we cannot pride ourselves when the women that we are supposed to provide for are more responsible than us.

It just can’t work…

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The Genesis of an Emerging Player|

One thing I especially admire about my dad is that he’s been faithful to my mum throughout the years of pain & struggle.

On the other hand, one thing that I’m not admiring about myself lately is that I’m turning out to be the exact opposite.

As it turns out, being a player is becoming more & more of a viable option for me.

Though I’m not the kind that rubs it in the face of my potential fiancées. I do not believe in offense, & I’m surely not that heartless bastard that’s a total jerk when it comes to emotional matters.

1)I learn’t from the best.

Sometimes I wonder what women really want. Not all. However, many criticize men for being unfaithful & in fact, they go to the extent of generalizing men by concluding that ‘all’ men are dogs.

And yet, behind the scenes, these same women see different guys at the same time. It beats logic that such ladies are eager to remove the spec in men’s eye without considering that log of make up in their own eyes.

I’ve even heard of these Y-generation ladies (especially in their 20 & possibly 30s) cheating on ten guys at the same time.

And it’s not that these guys are too foolish to notice.

On the contrary, these ladies have developed the art of mixing a dangerous concotion of concrete,viable excuses with outright lies.

And the poor fellas unfortunately fall for it over & over again… but that’s not all.

2)Act Like a man, think like a woman… only when necessary.

Okay, first of all, I’m not telling guys to go gay. On the contrary, I’m reversing the law of Steve Harvey.

We live in a society where the gender playing ground has been levelled unlike any other time in history.

I once told some of my buddies that the y-generation ladies are more or less men in beautiful bodies. To which they laughed.

That was a year ago…

Now they tell a different story.

One great lesson I learn’t about women who cheat is that their greatest weapon of choice is gender underestimation. When a guy tells a woman that she can’t do one, two, three things simply because she’s a woman; that’s outright underestimation & an indirect invitation to a challenge.

In fact, experience has taught me that underestimation is the best, most effective camouflage for a cheating lady. Because if you catch her in the act. This ‘camouflage’ will be used against you as a man.

She will turn the guilt arrow against you & talk of how you don’t have time for her, don’t provide for her as guy ‘x’ does, satisfy her in bedroom matters & so forth…

That’s is just the tip of the iceberg as to how cheating women think… yeah ladies, I’ve been taking notes.

The rest is your homework.

Oh! And before I forget.

One more key lesson I learn’t as an emerging player…

From the best of course…

3)Let’s be friends.

Many men are offended by articles that describe how a lady decides to make you her friend, or her side-kick for that matter simply because you can’t amount to her.

And quite frankly, I find it quite cruel & humiliating to be that ‘Operation Standby’ till you ‘Become financially stable’ … or ‘Get a life’ for that matter.

Adding insult to injury is that they laugh about it behind the scenes.

Yeah… it DEFINITELY hurts.

But don’t you think that it’s fair justice if the other party gets a taste of its own medicine so that it realizes how ‘not-so-funny’ the concept is?

I’m sure you’re wondering what I mean by that. Right?

So here’s the deal. Everyone knows that break-ups are are unpleasant experiences.

So what I simply do is turn those ‘I feel trapped’ relationships into ‘let’s just be friends’ acquintances.

Problem is, it would take an entire lecture on psychology to explain this.

But as I reiterated earlier. Being a player is not the ultimate option for me. I’m an emerging player.

That is;

4)I’m at Crossroads

The direction I take in future will depend on the current y-generation of ladies that look like divas playing the role of future hopeless mothers.

The kind give good men less & less hope of ever becoming responsible fathers.

I know what it means to be a good man because I was once a good man…

Until I realized how naive I looked.

And just for the the record. I like how urbandictionary.com defines ‘naive’;

“Generally speaking , to be naive means you
do not think enough…”

Come to think of it, being an emerging player makes me think much more than ‘enough’…

Kiruai Dennis is a Kenyan Based Blogger.
Facebook: Dennis Kiruai
Twitter: @DennisKiruai

Showers of Trouble|

There comes a time in our lives when we feel like the world is against us. Like there’s some curse roaming around & the heavens are against us. I’ve been experiencing this lately & It’s been the reason why I’ve gone silent on my blog. It’s been a series of broken promises, backstabs & failures so frequent, that sometimes I wonder if there’s some powerful, evil force lurking somewhere.

A force that’s been ensuring that the graph of failure, misery & frustrations in my life maintains an upward trend.

1) #TEAMSUICIDE.

I’ve never ever in my entire life entertained this thought in my mind. I’ve been a fighter & through the many losses I’ve witnessed, I’ve seen some wins. However, this year things have been a little different. It’s like waking up every morning with a dagger of failures & disappointments lurking somewhere to stab you.

It’s like being killed everyday & yet you’re still alive. And somehow one becomes accustomed to death. Isn’t that what hell is?

But anyway, since I’ve been raised a christian, sometimes I wonder, why wouldn’t God have created a portal to the afterlife? Which we could access once in a while when the burdens of life become more unbearable than birth pains?

Then I would literary go & ask God, why all this trouble & pain? Is there any purpose to this? Or am I just another insignificant one in seven billion that you’ve forgotten about so fast?

Who’s significant? Is it only the rich & famous that seem to get what they want so easily while we strive & struggle for job after job after job to no avail?

2) An Eye for an Eye…

Gone are the days when one would get a good deal fair & square. The days when someone would give you a deal freely without any mischievous terms & conditions.

Someone always wants something mischievous in return.

My recent cancelled deal was from someone who expected me to ‘kneel down & worship him’ in his own words.

To which I blatantly refused because I know the thin line between mutual respect & foolish adoration. I mean, what makes a creature a god over another?

Yes, he got stark raving mad & cancelled all my deals in the process. And I was glad to have let them go. Even through the trials & tribulations I face (especially financial), if I was given the chance to say no, I would do that over & over again.

All in all, I wonder, where did the good people go? Because even some so called christians are turning out to be the most ravenous & self-righteous wolves I’ve ever met.

I also wonder what the definition of friendship is because they’ve also joined the bandwagon. I help lots of guys gratis without mischeivous conditions. Problem is, the world is punishing me for being different…

3)My Prayer…

First & foremost, I sincerely do hope that God has some internet connectivity in heaven & reads my blog. Because I need answers & solutions to so many questions in my life urgently. I need to know why…

Second of all, I need strength. A lifetime supply of strength that will keep me pushing. Because my mind keeps on asking me, why not just quit college, close your blog, your social network accounts & start a new life all together? Far, far away…

Finally, I need wisdom. To know whether these troubles are obstacles to my destiny, or whether they’re just a wake up call to radically shift my life & move on. Away from my friends, my life, my family… & possibly my country.

Please keep me in your thoughts & in your prayers… God help us all.

Dennis Kiruai is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Dennis Kiruai
Twitter: @DennisKiruai

An Introvert’s Perspective of Teamwork|

Having been raised as the only son in the family with two sisters, I practically had to learn to deal with issues on my own.

See, there was this imbalanced sibling rivalry that was manifested in the way I dealt with confrontations within the family. If either of my sisters had an arguement, they had each other to console whereas if I had an argument, I would have to deal with the repercussions on my own.

Which basically means that I’ve practically been an introvert throughout my life. Yet, I’ve never really taken time to think about how this had affected my attitude towards teamwork. But first,

1)Where did I get this ‘Introvert‘ label from?

About 2 weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon, as I took a stroll on the campus streets, I met Nandwa, a fellow undergraduate in the School of Economics.
She informed me of a teambuilding session that our school year was holding at the field.

Though unprepared, I felt the urge to witness the action. And that’s when I met another fellow undergraduate named Sheila.

We had never talked for the last three years except for a few pleasantries here & there. However, she surprised me with her perception of me. She claimed that I was that ‘Army of One‘ kinda guy that wasn’t quite social with fellow undergraduates.

And after giving her the sibling rivalry story I had given you earlier, she labelled me an introvert. But I still had a case to argue…

2)The Thin line between honesty & too much honesty.

Sheila was against the idea that being an introvert had its positive side. A point that I strongly challenged.

I informed her of a very weird situation that took place in high school. My parents always insisted that I be very honest with them.

At first, I was skeptical about sharing a certain issue but later on, I took courage & asked them for a brief session to discuss a ‘personal matter’.

The first sentence that came out of my mouth sent shock waves down their spines, leaving them dumbfounded. It was a confession that involved me being a porn addict for the last couple of years under their very noses.

The fact that I had put it so blatantly made me look like that peculiar son that wasn’t afraid of his parents anymore, considering the ‘freaky’ information he had shared.

Eventually, my parents played the ‘we weren’t prepared for this’ & ‘we shall consult & get back to you’ cards.

This happened 6yrs ago.

And that was the last time porn was ever a topic of discussion. Since then, they’ve never shown any urge to be honest with me again because they must have realized that voluntary, uncoerced honesty would do.

3)The Snob.

Sheila was also dumbfounded by my revelation, though she tried as much as possible to hide it.

Anyhow, she argued that being an introvert must have largely contributed to my snobbish behaviour. I wasn’t really surprised by this accusation since it had been constantly used against me several times in the past.

She claimed that I had to learn to be more social with fellow students by striking a balance between being an introvert & an extrovert. However, being in either of the two extreems had its repercussions.

And I had to start this task by joining the boys in playing football, to which I gladly obliged.

Though on Monday, I had pain all over my body after being severely injured by a teammate.

And as we all know, one can’t share body pain as a team. Which mean’t that nature necessitated me to be an introvert once again…

OUCH!

Dennis Kiruai is a Kenyan Blogger.
Facebook: Dennis Kiruai
Twitter: @DennisKiruai

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When I treat her like a gentleman, I end up looking like a fool…

Recent events have led me to the realization that there’s a ruthless breed of women that’s emerging. The kind that take advantage of men’s kindness… & to be more specific… good men.

You know, the gentlemen who treat ladies with respect & concern only to be thanked with a donkey’s kick. The men that care about ladies that don’t care about them. The men that are heartlessly condemned by the same women that they adore.

And yes, experience has taught me this because lately, I’m being accused of being a proud jerk for increasingly declining to offer my gentlemanly services to so called ‘female friends’.
Yes, the kind that are friends only when they expect something in return. And when you don’t give them what they want, they mock you by reminding you of your weaknesses… ESPECIALLY financial instability.

But hey, I don’t care anymore so long as I don’t become a gentleman only to end up looking like a fool… especially in these three versions.

1)The side-kick

Yeah yeah… I know. Sucks to be a side-kick right? To be on stand-by. To be that plan-B for your lady-friend. This especially happens to guys who are in platonic friendships… the kind that involve a guy & a lady being good friends.

Like for instance, a lady friend of yours calls you to escort her to a party when her boyfriend isn’t around. Or when she tells you to buy this & that for her since she knows that you’re a gentleman anyway… & may I add… a foolish gentleman for that matter.

Yet when it comes to her chipping in some cash to pay the bills, she brilliantly comes up with a seemingly justifiable excuse that revolves around you having to prove that you’re a gentleman.

Or she may even decide to go for the jugular by attacking your pride & esteem & referring to you as a miser & so forth.

2)The prolonged Ex.

It’s that emotional baggage of someone you broke up with a long time ago but still… you’re having second thoughts as to whether the relationship might be revived once again.

But here’s the twist. She says that she doesn’t care about you anymore & yet she expects you to treat her like a queen. She enjoys the attention you give her as you keep apologizing to her endlessly. The guilt that you feel about the mistakes you made in the past is her added advantage.

She’s now decided to become proud & arrogant as an act of vengeance.

In the end, you realize that you’re wasting your heart & feelings on a stone wall. But hey, what goes around comes around right?

In any case, every dog has its own day…

3)The Secret Admirer.

How about that lady you’ve been secretly admiring & have been friends with for quite some time now.

Only that you don’t know that she knows this.

So she decides to take advantage of your gentlemanly acts since she perceives them as acts of desparation. To her, you amount to nothing…

The worst part about this is that she doesn’t care about you at all. She sees you as a wierdo & mocks you as she gossips with her clique of friends about how this “desparado keeps on stalking her” & so forth.

She treats you well in private, only to deny you in the limelight. She makes you look like a psychopath that’s desparate for love.

In all three instances, one sees a ruthless game of psychology played on innocent men. The scars inflicted make good & innocent men result to vengeance through womanizing & so forth once they gain the status they’ve strived to achieve.

In the end, they’re like bitter, wounded lions that do away with being gentlemen since life has taught them that being bad guys is the only way to avoid looking like a fool.

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Life|

The most scary reality for me when I wake up each morning is to realize that I’ll give an account of how I spent each & every second on this planet. There’s no insurance, no playbacks… nothing. Once I’ve made a mistake, or wasted my precious energy on a meaningless past time, then that’s it!

I mean, doesn’t that make us feel lost at times? Wondering if we are actually fulfilling our destiny?

Or worse still, we wake up everyday & say; yeah yeah… more disappointments coming up as usual & there’s nothing I can do about it.
And this got me thinking…

1)Why does it seem like God isn’t doing His best?

That’s a question I’d like to pop incase I’m actually given that opportunity to have that one-on-one conversation with the Almighty.

I mean, wouldn’t it be a good idea if money grew on trees? Or rained from the sky?
Wouldn’t it be a better world if poverty & disease was totally extinguished & everybody was happy?

Why can’t everyone have an easy life & just enjoy it. Do people actually have to suffer?

And what makes some people seem justified to have a luxurious life while some are accustomed to absolute misery?

Isn’t it unfair that someone’s life ends without notice? In accidents, tsunamis… et cetera. I mean, shouldn’t they be given a sort of eviction notice & a plan B?

And finally God, I have one major question for you… I wonder if you wouldn’t mind explaining to me the reason as to…

2)Why bad things happen to good people.

The world today is so complicated that one wonders, what does it mean to be good? Because we see good people do bad things & bad people do good things.

And since we as humans have the weakness of judging the book by its cover, we tend to be deceived by outward appearance as the ‘good people’ rob us right under our noses… & at this point, I’ll use a personal example.

In my campus, I deal with lots of bureacracy. However, there are some campus officials that have learn’t the art of “Not saying no”.

They do this by telling you to “come tomorrow” & that “they’re busy”. Yes, they do greet you with big (professionally faked) smiles on their faces yet deep inside, they’re full of ill intent.

To discourage you, to demean you & to crush your spirit; knowing fully well that justice delayed is justice denied & that “Tomorrow never comes”.

And here’s the interesting bit; they make the good guys look bad. So one wonders, when will this ever stop? Until when will the bad guys always have the last laugh?

& last but not least…

3)What does the future hold?

With bad news flooding our TV screens & uncertainty dominating the global economy at large, one gets the feeling that instability may become a common trend.

Infidelity, materialism & selfishness are at an all time high as morals & Godly beliefs are deemed insignificant & old-fashioned.

Mentorship, integrity, faithfulness & trustworthiness are terrestrial vocabularies from outer space for the Y generation with commitment & responsibility phobia clinging onto young men like leeches.

And once again, I get back to God…

I mean, something major has got to be done about the state of affairs of this planet.

In short, we need a heaven on earth. Good economies, transparent governments, happy people, healthy families, & a hopeful generation…

Now that’s life…

Need I say more?

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

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Did you wake up feeling Alone and in Despair?… you’re not alone. Please read on…|

When I opened my eyes this morning, I felt this invicible heaviness on my body. It’s a feeling that goes beyond words.

In fact, It’s a weird culmination so to speak… of despair, laziness, depression, loneliness… you name it.

Now all that concotion in one heavy dosage.

Fact is, its become common… not just in my life, but also in other people’s lives as well.

I see it in people’s eyes… everyday… every week… every year… but they can’t admit it because they’re afraid of making a mockery of themselves.

But as for me, I’ll have to speak out today because the more I conceal it, the more it hurts.

I’ll basically address three aspects of life without which, I feel incomplete… or basically make me feel like an absolute failure with each passing day…

1)Financial Stability.

Doesn’t everyone wish for this? Heck I don’t even know why I’m asking this question because personally speaking, I crave for it.

Because I’m TIERD of living a life that’s nothing but a back & forth game of the good & bad life.

I’m tired of envying people who have a taste of the good life 24/7 while I have to wait for special occasions to have a piece of the cake.

And I must admit… IT SUCKS BIG TIME! To be the spectator… to be on the sidelines.

To have to work your *ss off for meager unstable income while someone spends money like he/she photocopies it across the streets.

What makes some people have money so easily while others sweat blood to have a penny?

Are these struggles here to stay? Is this destiny? Speaking of destiny…

2)A Sense of Fulfilment.

This is the sense that makes you feel that what you do in life makes an impact. That you’re not just passing time & waiting for judgement day.

That treasured feeling that “I’m not doing what I do in vain because there’s a reward in the end…”

And as I reiterated earlier, lack of financial stability leaves one with few options. For instance, I hate doing Economics… but…

I’ve struggled to get this rare chance to study for a degree that’s partly sponsored for by the government.

I always feel like I’m passing time by… but what options do I have?

I once told my parents that I needed to change the course but they would hear none of that because of the numerous financial challenges they currently face & that I’m supposed to “understand & cope with the situation as the first born”.

These are the same parents that were quick to disapprove my books even without reading them because of the financial constraints they face…

Parents that only believe in formal education & see one’s passions as a meaningless past time.

This indeed crushed my spirit…

I’ve got passion for entrepreneurship! Not being employed in a bank & working long hours for a meager salary.

But what’s the use of passion if you’ve got no resources to implement them? I mean, I’ve got two books under my belt but Kenyan publishers aren’t willing to sponsor & promote young, upcoming writers.

I wanna be my own boss. I wanna study for something different that makes me feel involved, as opposed to what I currently do which basically means copy pasting what the lecturer dictates without a mind of my own.

I need to feel fulfilled with each passing day.

3)Dreams & Ambitions coming to pass.

Mentorship…

Used to be there. And so we (the Y generation) have to figure out life on our own. But of late, one gets the feeling that no one cares.

I miss the days when people would actually talk of dreams & ambitions & bring them to pass. But lately, that’s becoming another hopeless mirage. Disappointments after disappointments come, left, right & center.

Resolution after resolution is broken.

Then despair sets in, becoming an everyday reality…

I mean… what does one do?

Hope for a miracle in a world infested with materialistic churches? Share his/her disappointments with a world that’s addicted to constant gossip, bickering & mockery?

As for me, I’ve learn’t to cope by first of all, comforting myself in silence & solitude.
And second of all, hiding my pain.

Because I’ve come to the realization that many will read this & assume that the writer “will be fine…” just like the parable of the good samaritan.

Or maybe, just maybe… a “one in a billion” good samaritan will help me change this story, & I won’t have to repeat it again.

As the saying goes,

“Everyone goes through pain, It’s just that some people are better at hiding it than others…”
Have a blessed week ahead…

Special Dedication to Grandma Grace Kiruai, who passed on at age 92 on the 19th of September 2012…

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

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Somebody say Eloquence…|

In campus, I hold a high ranking position in the student fraternity. And with that comes lots of responsibility particularly in regards to the image I portray.

This doesn’t come as a surprise considering the fact that I’m occasionally given the task of hosting bigwigs & taking them on a tour around campus.

Indeed, I’ve met lots of people in the past year & made a positive impression on them.

However, as I deal with these men & women of influence & power, I sometimes get tempted to overlook certain key characters which though seemingly insignificant, make a huge impact in my life.

1)The Ordinary Student.

Yesterday on Thursday the 22, our campus had the priviledge to host a Nairobi based rock band at the Student Annex. As the students enjoyed themselves & drinks passed around, I couldn’t help but notice the attraction I was gathering around me.

Yes, this was one of those moments when I just wanted to be me & have fun as some ordinary guy but I couldn’t “hide”. As the show ensued & the rockband continued with its performance, I was headed to the washrooms when all of a sudden, someone stopped me.

He said ‘hi’ & added that he looked up to me as a role model. *Tom was his name. He also insisted that though he didn’t want to sound gay, he had been a keen observer of my style of dressing for the last two years & was really impressed.

A second guy joined in & said more or less the same thing. Both of them were tipsy & in the end, *Tom warned me against drinking too much lest I lose the respect I had built for so long.

2)The PR.

This week, I had a few meetings with the head of public relations in our campus. In one of our conversations, I told him of a particular predicament that was really bugging me.

See, my predecessor never introduced me to the relevant offices after handing over the office to me. Thus basically, most campus officials thought that he is still the one holding the seat almost a year down the line.

And so when I meet them they tell me,

“Oh yes, I like your hair that way, don’t do any crazy hairdo’s again…”

Because apparently, my predecessor used to have this long hair that he would occasionally plait & thus they think that “I have reformed”.

Of course, this ‘bad image’ scenario has really affected the functioning of the office since the officials have developed this sense of detest & skeptism against it.

At this, the PR manager Mr. *Paul laughed & insisted that I should always wear a tag that reads:

“I’m not my predecessor, My regards…”

3)The Administrators

Last week, I had the priviledge to meet the Tanzanian president Jakaya Kikwete as he officiated the opening of the new School of hospitality in our campus. The Vice Chancellor & some lecturers were present.

As the president shook hands with me, I couldn’t help but notice that the handshake was firm & confident as we exchanged warm smiles & pleasantries.

This to me spoke volumes. It showed the fact that he wasn’t disappointed & that my image had done its work appropriately.

Which reminded me of an earlier situation which took place some hours prior to the event.

As arrangements were being done at the vicinity of the launch, a campus administrator came to me & said:

“Hello, I see you’ve not done that crazy hairdo again… keep it up!”

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

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Remnants of the Big City|

So last weekend, I met an old lady friend of mine at the Anniversary towers; *EK, an undergraduate student in Pharmacy at the University of Nairobi. We hadn’t met for a very long time since 2003 & we had a lot of catching up to do.

We talked about life events that ensued & how childhood friends had changed as time went by. However, the conversation took a turn when I offered to escort her to the bus stop at GPO.

As we took a stroll down the streets of Nairobi, we couldn’t help but notice how society is becoming more carefree & reckless by the day. What especially worried us the most was the escalation of moral decadence in our ‘Y-generation‘.

“A day is coming when people will loathe & detest sex so much, that they’ll never want to even think about it,” said *EK.

As unrealistic as that might have sounded, I sought to find out why *EK would arrive at this conclusion.

1)Deceipt & Betrayal

“This city is really dangerous Kiruai, I’ve seen a lot at Kenyatta National Hospital.” She continued. Indeed, she works as an intern at the biggest refferal hospital in Kenya, where she meets many patients who have many sad & tragic stories to share.

“I’m telling you Dennis, I’ve seen grown-up men cry like helpless babies. I’ve seen despair that words can’t tell. It’s a very sad state of affairs especially for us, this generation.” As she spoke, I couldn’t help but notice the concern & worry in her eyes & voice.

She went ahead to explain to me how carefree this young generation is with sex, passing on STD’s & HIV without discretion.

“Yes Dennis, the use of ARV’s by HIV patients has given them the opportunity to look healthy & numb the effects of the disease. But some, if not most, are taking advantage by spreading the disease to unsuspecting & naive sex partners.”

At this point, I couldn’t help but feel the pain & agony of such betrayal & the damage that has already been done.

2)Sex & Materialism

“So, is there any hope for this generation?” I asked.

“I mean, even our ‘potential girlfriends in campus’ are sleeping around with men twice their age. Men who are supposed to mentor us.”

At this, *EK replied,

“I don’t know Dennis. I really don’t know… I’m even concerned about how we’ll be correcting our kids. I’m concerned about the trauma that kids will have to go through in future once they discover the dirty linen of their perverse parents.”

“Yes *EK, I see your point. I’m even concerned about whether I should bring my child into this perverse generation.”

“A self-centered generation that’s overdosed on sex & materialism.”

“Morals have been labelled as ancient & ‘old school’. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesus comes real soon.”

“I mean, is there any hope of finding a good & faithful wife?”

At this point, I was really concerned & filled with hopelessness.

3)The Remnants of Morality

“Yes Dennis, there is hope. But believe me, I wouldn’t date a guy from Nairobi…” said *EK

“Really? And why’s that?” I asked.

“Well, it’s because Nairobi lacks ‘originality & identity’. There are no moral boundaries. For instance, when it comes to most rugby players, they beat up & disrespect their women. They even have sex with multiple partners without discretion…” continued *EK.

I wasn’t really surprised by what *EK was saying since she was brought up in Mombasa (Coast region) & I was brought up in the mountanious up-country region called Kirinyaga.

“I can’t bring up my kids in Nairobi. They’ll see ‘too much’ at a young age. I need to bring them up in a town where decency & morality reign. But Nairobi, is full of drama & I’ve seen more than enough at KNH.” She concluded.

Indeed, I couldn’t help but concur with her. It wasn’t really about Nairobi. It was about the root cause. It was about the moral decadence that kids brought up here are currently witnessing & emulating.

I’ve personally witnessed a ten year old Nairobian browse porn on my phone. These kids emulate what society puts emphasis on. They see a lot… so much that time cannot erase.

As we waved goodbye at GPO bus stop, *EK left me with these words;

“Be very very very… careful Dennis. I don’t want to see the same fate befall you…”

Words that ring in my head up to this day.

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…

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It takes a STRONG character to CONFORM & say YES, but it takes a STRONGER character to DISCERN and say NO|

In my previous article,
“It’s a Cruel World of Assumptions”

I addressed the major challenge that I’ve had to endure during my tenure as Mr. Kenyatta University 2011. And that challenge has basically been the bombardment of unrealistic expectations in my life.

And after meditating on my confession, I realized that indeed, it takes a strong character to conform & simply say yes, but it takes a stronger character to discern & say no.

Because there are numerous profitable & lucrative offers that I’ve declined; tempting offers that many would not resist.

Offers that would compromise upon my integrity & corrupt my spirit & intellect.  
Did my so called “friends” think I was stupid for saying no? OF COURSE they did! In fact, majority of them did. Which made me realize that…

1)The Majority aren’t always right.

Despite the mountain of opposition that pushed me to the edge & made me look bad, I stood my ground & simply said… NO! Because a strong character entails pledging alleagence to your principles & integrity, for better… and for WORSE! Ultimately, I had to learn to be strong on my own by pruning out corruptible acquintances that were “taking me down with them”.
I do believe that making wrong decisions in life is inevitable, which of course I have. But the worst tragedy is to make the same mistakes over & over again only to become concious of the long term repercussions when it’s too late.
But in both situations, pain is a key factor and yes…

2)Pain is Inevitable.

The main prerogative entails what pain is worth the struggle & endurance. Saying yes without discernment has its long term pain that’s simply postponed but not done away with.

Saying no with discernment may come with immediate pain, but long term benefits, both temporary & eternal. But in both instances, character is altered.

And that means that I’m not the same as I was a year ago. Whether my character became stronger or weaker, that’s for you to judge from my articles. However, from a personal perspective, I’ve gained one crucial strength that has prepared me for bigger challenges ahead. That crucial strength is….

3)Endurance.

It takes endurance to suffer in silence & cover up the pain one feels in the limelight. It takes endurance to resist the allure of vengeance & turn the other cheek.

It takes endurance to maintain & keep your composure amid the flood of hateful scrutiny & criticism. Yes my fellow readers, it has definitely taken endurance to keep calm & composed despite the constant, betrayal, pain & disappointments I’ve experienced as Mr. Kenyatta University 2011.

Because some of my predecessors from previous years turned to drugs, carefree promiscuity & neglect of their studies. Yet through it all, by the Grace of God, I’ve kept my peace.

I guess we can’t help but blame the limelight for focusing so much on the glamour, that it blinds the populance from the challenges that influential people go through.

At the end of the day, everyone can be strong, but few have the strength & courage to stand out & embrace the task of being stronger.

Kiruai Dennis is the author of “Man Up Or the Women Will” which is currently available on Amazon. Terms & Conditions Apply…